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My husband's body is filled with shrapnel. I think I have mentioned it before but his entire right thigh on the backside looks like pepper flakes were sprinkled all over his skin, he also has it in his wrist, and lower leg. He also has a huge chunk behind his knee cap. The doctors will not take it out as it would cause more damage but some does come out on it's own. We know that Iraqi's throw nails, concrete, scrap metal, and all kinds of horrid material into IEDs and therefore that is what is in my husbands body.

With that being said I got a call yesterday from Bryan's case manager at the VA in Johnson City. She was calling in to do her monthly check up and to ask it Bryan has shrapnel in his body. I explained that he had a lot in his body and she said there has been some specific questions that have filtered down from Washington that need to be answered. She asked Bryan to call and surprisingly he did call her. She asked a few questions and said that he needed to complete a 24 hour urinalysis. However they will not mail the container so that means a trip to Johnson City (4 hour round trip) and return the next day with the urine. He doesn't want to go there two days in a row. He is going there in a couple more weeks for the inserts for his shoes so hopefully he can get the container then and complete the test before he goes there the next time.

I am nervous about this as a wounded warrior wife friend of mine said that her husband's doctor mentioned there could be depleted uranium in the shrapnel and can make our warriors sick. I also read this article on the VA's website.

Toxic Embedded Fragments: Toxic Embedded Fragment Surveillance Center

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My husband got up at 5:45 a.m. on his day off was on the road by 6:15 for his VA appointment at 9:00 in Johnson City. He arrived on time and ready to actually get his orthotics this time. I called him when his appointment was complete to see how it went. Well the employees didn't know how to clean the machine that makes the orthotics! Last time they didn't even have the machine this time they don't know how to clean it. It was another complete and utter waste of time. He will go back in a month on his day off from work for an earlier 8:00 a.m. appointment. How frustrating! I feel so bad for him someone needs to learn how to do their job!

Another thing that has gotten on my last nerve is our master shower. The whole thing was torn out and rebuilt for the second time. It was complete the beginning of January and we were waiting on the shower door. They had to remake it since the new tiles were put in properly so the new door wouldn't fit. They came out and measured it and ordered the pieces months ago. The first door showed up to the warehouse with the door installed backwards. They reordered the correct one then they came to install it and they were missing an angled piece. They said they would overnight the piece two weeks ago and Saturday they said they were going to install it. They never showed and the manager didn't know where the installer was and why he didn't show up. Frankly I am so tired of dealing with all of this. We have lived here 2 1/2 years and showered in our Master Bath about 4 months total.

Enough of my ranting we had a really good weekend overall. Something happened in the laundry room yesterday when Bryan was changing out his laundry and kicked off his shoes and threw a little fit. He didn't tell me what happened so I ignored him until he was done pouting. Other than that it was great! We worked hard in the yard on Saturday. I learned how to use the chainsaw and helped him saw tress and we burned them. Saturday night we met friends for dinner and had a wii game night here. Sunday I went to church (Bryan refused to go even with peer pressure), he met us for lunch, and then we ran some errands. He actually wanted to run errands with me and even got out in the cold to pump my gas.

I am heading to DC next week to visit friends! I am so excited! Bryan and Trix will have to survive without me.

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Things has still been great around here. I truly can't believe the difference. Bryan has been much more connected and a problem he has since he got hurt is no longer an issue. I will spare you the details but I will say it's made me very happy. Bryan did have more appointments at the VA clinic with his regular doctor and his psychiatrist a couple of weeks ago. They upped his Welbutrin again and I think that is a good idea as long as they never put him on Zoloft again.

I spent last weekend in Nashville with my sister. We went to see the Black Eyed Peas concert and we had a blast. We spent Saturday with my nephew and mom and then I met my dad Sunday morning for brunch at the Opryland Hotel. It was a great weekend. I got home around 4:30 on Sunday as it was Valentine's Day and Bryan had a dozen fuchsia roses, a spa gift certificate for me, and we made fondue at home. It was a really great night and he even helped clean up the dishes.

Even though things are great Bryan still struggles in some areas. One thing I probably haven't mentioned before is that Bryan does not sleep in our bed. He sleeps downstairs in the recliner every night. Sometimes he sleeps really good until 4 a.m. and then he will try to come to bed only to not sleep. I think Bryan's legs do better being propped up. While not sleeping in the same bed might be devastating for some married couples for us this is the norm. If he can get sleep we will do whatever it takes. When Bryan was in Iraq I would have done anything to have him sleeping safe and sound in our bed. I would love to have him in the bed but he doesn't rest there at all. I can make that sacrifice for him to get sleep.

Bryan has been doing really well with his impulse control but he did slip up when I was out of town. This is a side affect of his frontal lobe Traumatic Brain Injury. He took a large chunk of money out of savings for my Valentine's Present. It is really sweet that he got me such a nice gift but he should have charged it to the debit card. I also gave him the credit card so that he could rent the drill hammer from Lowe's to chip up the floor leveler in the basement that didn't work as planned. He didn't rent it but went to the Tanger Outlets to return some things and ended up charging 400 dollars worth of clothes at Banana Republic. I never spend that much money at once on clothes and I was upset that he did this. I didn't get into it on Valentine's Day when I got home but I did address the issue. He said he didn't look at the price tags and some of the shirts he got were $70.00 a piece. He said he was going to return them. I think we will do that today. He has always been impulsive when I am out of town. I am not sure why but that is when it happens. I hope that he can get back on track with this.

I am praying that the good things that are happening, continue. It's really hard for someone that deals with PTSD and TBI everyday to relish when things are good. I am always scared he is going to come home one day and the bottom will drop out. Bryan is extremely superstitious and maybe I am becoming that way as well cause I don't even want to talk about it as it might jinx it. For now though, I am going to try to be less cautious and truly enjoy it.

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